


Martinet Ludinus Da'leth Gets a Headache

by Marchetta



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, spoilers for latest ep, written up real quick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:27:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23059231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marchetta/pseuds/Marchetta
Summary: The Mighty Nein give the Martinet a little update about the attack on the Balleater and make him question his own existence.
Comments: 13
Kudos: 166





	Martinet Ludinus Da'leth Gets a Headache

Martinet Ludinus Da'leth hadn’t known what to expect when the dawn came accompanied by a threatening voice in his head.

“Hey Ludy! We kinda need to talk because we got super attacked last night and we think your guys’ boats might get attacked, too… Boop!”

Ludinus still failed to understand the blue tiefling’s façade, but he had no doubt that it hid destructive and terrifying machinations beneath it.

“We’ll anchor our ship. Catch up and anchor next to us. We’ll talk.”

Much like the message, Ludinus hadn’t expected the state that the… that the _Balleater_ was in when it approached. Its crew was hard at work repairing damage all over the ship. Hull and deck both were littered with strange projectiles and fluids, scorch marks, and… _extensive_ puddles of blood.

Pinned to the side and dangling like some macabre banner of victory was a humanoid corpse. Whatever it had once been had been disgustingly mutated into some sort of sickening chimera of the sea. He caught movement in his periphery and looked down to see similar corpses, or fragments of such, being shoved overboard from the gunport and the deck.

Before long, the Martinet had a handful of the Mighty Nein stood before him. The half-orc seemed the most haggard, frowning deeply and still in sleeping clothes that were now torn apart and soaked through with blood. The firbolg stood behind him, calm and silent as expected, but strangely sullen. Ikithon’s boy was as silently hostile as ever, and the Expositor, similarly, remained unchanged in her lasseiz-faire attitude.

Ludinus was secretly relieved the tiefling had not joined them.

“Okay, so here’s the deal,”the Expositor began, “About a year ago in a evil shark-dude temple, Fjord swallowed this angry marble he found and now he’s the only standing in between the world and this ancient sea god.”

_Um_. Ludinus opened his mouth to speak-

“Well, actually, its not a god probably its more like a sort of… eldritch horror nightmare squid type thing, but anyway it kinda wants to, like, break out of its prison thing and re-enter the world to wreak havoc, and drown cities, and unleash untold destruction, you now, that whole schtick-“

_Wait_.

“So, like, last night Uk’otoa sent a bunch of these weird fish minions after us the kill Fjord and get his marble.”

From beginning to end, the Expositor’s tone of disinterest maintained. As if this conversation were perfectly reasonable. As if it were boring, even.

Ludinus was a very intelligent man. In fact, he was likely one of the _most_ intelligent men in the world. He’d lived many lifetimes more than most people ever would, even among his fellows in the assembly.

“What the fuck.”

“Erm, what we are trying to say, Herr Da’leth-”

Ah, thank the gods. The Scourger was talking now; perhaps their conversation would start to make sense.

“We, erm… we think that this being, Uk’otoa, may increase its efforts. We don’t really know the extent of its capabilities in its current state of imprisonment but we believe there is every possibility that it could go as far as to summon storms or… envelop this entire fleet in its next attack. We all need to prepare ourselves.”

Of course. These peace talks were now being threatened by an angry, apocalyptic sea god. _Of course_.

If it were anyone else, Ludinus happily sink the ship himself and let them drown, horror squid be damned. Unfortunately, these _mercenaries_ are somehow the only party in this whole political cluster fuck that have proved themselves to be at least _somewhat_ trustworthy to both the Empire and Xhorhas. From the way Thelyss spoke, their absence at these talks could be perceived as a warning sign for Xhorhassian delegates.

“Alright,” Martinet Ludinus Da'leth spoke with ease he did not feel, “We’ll start making preparations. I’m sure we can figure out a way to protect everyone from more intense attacks.”

This was not on the fucking plan. Ludinus did not want to deal with a fucking _ancient imprisoned evil_.

“Thank you, Martinet,” the Zemnian replied, “We deeply appreciate-“

“Hey you guys!”

Oh no.

The tiefling.

Ludinus turned his head to see _her_ standing on the deck of the _Balleater,_ shouting at the top of her lungs.

“Have you warned him about Veth yet!?”

Veth. Fantastic, what was it this time? An arch devil? Another extradimensional cultist? What other _inconvenience_ does he know have to account for because of these stupidly competent fools?

“Oh yeah right,” the Expositor spoke once more, “Just so you’re not surprised or anything, the goblin in our party is a halfling now. Not, like, a disguise spell or a polymorph or something, we just turned her into a halfling.”

_Of Course._


End file.
